We posted a link to a story on Facebook that has been circulating the Internet recently. In the wake of the $1.05 billion settlement between Apple and Samsung, reports have come out that Samsung sent 30 trucks full of nickels to pay Apple. Not to burst too many bubbles, but the story is fake, originating on this Spanish satire website. Despite its inauthenticity, the article got us thinking about how great it would be to prank a vendor you weren’t too fond of. Now many of you might not think of accountants as being the best pranksters, but we are a diabolical bunch. We should never be underestimated. So in case anyone was considering manipulating, deceiving, or just being flat out mean to an accountant or an entire accounts payable team, let this list be a reminder of our power.
1. Nickels? How about pennies? Sending 30 trucks of nickels might have been pretty good, but sending 150 trucks filled with pennies would have been even better. You may not have a $1 billion settlement to pay for, but try sending that vendor who sent your invoice late and is now threatening to penalize you a late fee, 100,000 pennies to settle your $1,000 bill.
2. Checks please! How’s your landlord? Have they fixed that toilet that has constantly been running since July? Remember last winter when you went three weeks without proper heating? Have they ever changed the carpet in the office since 1973 when the place was built? Well, for your next rent payment trying sending them your rent’s worth in $1 checks. This might cost you a little bit more in paper, but the satisfaction of knowing your landlord will have to sign every one of those 3,000 checks, makes it well worth it.
3. I Object! Sometimes it’s just the way vendors bill you. There are the ones that send you an email from their sketchy Hotmail account with the dollar figure on it and what you can assume is an attached virus. Then there are the others that make the invoice so convoluted and complicated that you need a PhD in Neuroscience to understand what they were thinking. So we say object! For a year, each month call your vendor’s office and dispute every charge on the invoice. Argue until your voice is hoarse, no matter how ridiculous your position is, and then if they don’t relent, make a big deal about how you are going to pay this time but they better not try to pull these shenanigans again or you will be calling back. By June they may not take your calls anymore, but hey, maybe they will stop sending you bills!
4. Two can play at that game! As discussed in #3, some vendors make it too complicated. I mean all you did was order a couple reams of paper and their line items include the blade that was used to chop down the tree and .002% of the cost of displacing a squirrel. Well, two can play hardball. Instead of paying with one nice clean check, pay with as many methods as possible. Send a couple checks of a dollar here and a dollar there. Make them create a PayPal account to receive $5 that way. Request you set up an ACH portal to send payment electronically. Send them .0004 Bitcoins! When they tell you they prefer one method of payment, tell them you prefer no payments and, “we all can’t get what we want.”
These are just a few ideas we thought we would share for the disgruntled accountants out there. If you have any of your own ideas for Accounts Payable Pranks, share them on our Facebook page or tweet them with #ApPranks.